Getting Unstuck

Hi There,

There is no clear-cut path to a successful career in the arts. For most, an entertainment career resembles a hiker in search of a mountaintop, stumbling to find a trail, and ending up stuck in quicksand. For those with the right intentions, a career in the entertainment industry looks like this:

Progress – Plateau – Progress –Plateau – Progress (Repeat)

But often it’s more like this:

Progress – Plateau – Doubt – Rut – Stuck

This edition of The Dialogue is about getting unstuck and getting back on the path to fulfilling your potential.

In Person Coaching & Taping

Excited to announce limited In-Person Classes and Coaching!

To get on the waitlist for In-Person Classes at the new studio in Midtown Manhattan, click here.

COVID-19 safety measures will be in effect.

Be well,

JC

Most of what kept me stuck, for months and sometimes years, I finally solved by having difficult ten-minute conversations that got to the root of the trap.

I’m a non-confrontational introvert by nature, so I say this with the utmost certainty: if I can have these types of uncomfortable conversations, you can too.

From the sheer number of times actors in career consults say, “I feel stuck” I’d bet a lot of difficult conversations aren’t happening.

There are two distinct types of difficult conversations:

• Difficult conversations you have with yourself
• Difficult conversations with others

They both suck. And both have the power to change your life.

You, First

Before you make that difficult call to someone else, ask yourself one simple and powerful question: how honest am I being with myself?

Nobel Prize winner Richard Feynman said:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Ain’t that the truth.

There were times in my life that I got stuck, even though I was certain I was taking actions, striving for excellence. Through the lens of truth, what I was really doing was seeking paths of low-resistance. Because actually walking towards excellence requires facing your struggles. It means doing the actual work, not trying to give off the appearance of having done the work.

It means risking being perceived as “not good.”

And that need for external validation, to be told you’re “good,” interrupts our ability to be great. Because being perceived by others as “good” isn’t about striving to be better, it’s about trying not to be bad; leaving your mighty potential untapped.

So, before you pick up the phone to have a sweat-inducing conversation with someone else, have the difficult talk with yourself first. A few topics to start the dialogue:

1. Do I actually work on the elements of my technique that are difficult for me?
2. Are there things I’m avoiding because it will be a struggle to overcome them and I’m afraid I can’t?
3. Is my work as competitive as it needs to be to get what I want?
4. Am I putting in the real effort to get better, get auditions, build relationships, or just getting by?
5. What am I hoping no one calls me out on?

The phone might not be ringing because you’ve let the ball drop on keeping in touch with folks who are fans of your work, or because the work you’re doing isn’t at the level it needs to be just yet.

You might be signing up for all the classes and workshops you can fit in your schedule – but that says nothing about the effort you’re putting in when preparing for them. It’s like going to the gym every day but all you do is take a leisurely stroll on the treadmill. You’re showing up, but not really putting in the work.

You can do what’s hard now, and go easy on yourself knowing you’ve done it, or do what’s easy now, and be hard on yourself knowing you haven’t.

It’s only a matter of delaying the discomfort.

Then, the Others

Once you’re square with you, now come the others.

Leaving your agent, telling your manager you want to make the move from co-star to guest star, following up with someone you met who told you to give them a call, quitting your job, asking for a raise…

These types of conversations produce outcomes.

Not always good outcomes mind you, but I bet if you’ve had any of these chats, the relief you felt regardless of what came next was immense.

The weight of indecision when a decision needs to be made is heavy. And our aversion to risk can leave us stuck for years.

I’ve made a lot of difficult phone calls. They all start with my heart pounding, my arms and voice shaky, and me repeating the famous Churchill phrase “the only way out is through,” over and over in my head until there’s an answer on the other line. My heart is pounding just thinking of some of those calls.

But by the middle of the talk, I already feel better. Because no matter what happens next, I’ve decided to become unstuck.

If there are frustrating situations in which you consistently find yourself, or a resentment you feel brewing – address it directly with that person. If you value a relationship: you make the call. You have the conversation.

And be sure—you need to surround yourself with trusted advisors who are willing to have these difficult conversations with you. It does you no good to seek guidance from someone who is also avoiding the difficult things that move us forward. Tactful, but honest. That’s what you’re looking for. To quote Kristen Bell, quoting her therapist:

“Honesty without tact is cruelty.”

Have difficult conversations with yourself and uncover your weak points, then have difficult conversations with others who can uncover the weak points you may not see.

Discomfort – Honesty – Clarity – Action – Un-Stuck

You change your life. That’s how powerful you are.

In this quick read, Cleese takes us through parts of his creative process. He shares ideas he’s tested along the way to find a groove that has helped him maintain an enviable level of creativity for decades.

My favorite takeaways:

• In acting, the moment you have to think what you are going to say next, there’s a little less energy for the acting itself, because it’s being siphoned off by the conscious mind for the purpose of remembering.
• The greatest killer of creativity is interruption. It pulls your mind away from what you want to be thinking about…perhaps the biggest interruption coming from your inside is caused by your worrying about making a mistake. This can paralyze you. “Oh,” you say to yourself, “I mustn’t think that because it might be WRONG.” When you’re being creative there is no such thing as a mistake.
• It is very important that when you first have a new idea, you don’t get critical too soon. New and “woolly” ideas shouldn’t be attacked by your logical brain until they’ve had time to grow, to become clearer and sturdier. New ideas are rather like small creatures. They’re easily strangled.
• When people become absolutely certain that they know what they’re doing, their creativity plummets. This is because they think they have nothing more to learn. Once they believe this, they naturally stop learning and fall back on established patterns. And that means they don’t grow.
• The trouble is that most people want to be right. The very best people, however, want to know if they’re right. That’s the great thing about working in comedy. If the audience doesn’t laugh, you know you’ve got it wrong.

Purchase on Amazon:
http://jamiecarroll.me/amzn-John-Cleese-Creativity

Purchase on Barnes & Noble:
http://jamiecarroll.me/bn-John-Cleese-Creativity

Purchase from an Independent Bookseller:
http://jamiecarroll.me/indy-John-Cleese-Creativity

Or, check the stacks of your local Public Library.

The creator of the hit series Fleabag on what you learn by creating your own work, her years between graduating from drama school and booking that first job, and the tale of her first big audition for Downton Abby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxLdCZRqqRY

Located on the edge of Hudson Yards and the Garment District in Midtown Manhattan, the new coaching space is close to all forms of public transportation. It’s also literally around the corner from the recently re-launched Drama Book Shop.

The waitlist is currently full through October. To get on the list, click below.