Freedom From Expectations

Hi There,

You wouldn’t think that releasing your expectations would be a key to enjoying a better life. But I found releasing expectations the ticket out of the “how I think things should be” prison.

When you walk into an audition or a new situation and release the idea of how you want things to go, you’re immediately more present—able to react to what’s happening in front of you, instead of judging your experience against the “pre-recorded movie in your mind”.

For me, it means more fully lived experiences and genuine connections within relationships of all kinds.

In this edition of The Dialogue, I’m talking about the freedom that comes from letting go of expectations.

In-Person Coaching & Taping Back This Fall

I’m excited to announce that I’ll be back in person (and online!) starting the week of October 10^th.

• Click here to get on the waitlist for In-Person Classes at the new studio in Midtown Manhattan.
• Click here to get on the waitlist for Online Classes.

COVID-19 safety measures are in effect for all In-Person activities, and proof of vaccination is required.

For all current clients, your spot is saved. No need to get on the list.

Be well,

JC

“That’s it,” I thought, “I’ve been discovered.”

I just knew the next steps would be a top tier agent and roles in film and television—because this one workshop had gone really well.

Needless to say, none of that happened.

What did happen was a rude awakening into the reality of show business and how expectations can ruin a great experience.

“The Cavalry Ain’t Coming.”
—Chris Gardner

If 19-year-old me showed up for a career coaching now, I know exactly what I’d say:

“Sounds like you had a great first meeting. Follow up and keep them posted on career developments, and don’t expect to hear anything back.”

That’s it.

This would have been soul-crushing to me at the time. Now, I find it liberating.

If I’d set my focus on building a relationship, instead of expecting a big break, the ball would have been in my court. I could have taken action, instead of waiting. A simple shift in where you put your focus can change what you’re doing, and where you’re going.

The Waiting Game

A major trap in an acting career is that you can spend your time waiting for someone to give you a chance:

• Waiting for an agent to sign you
• Waiting for an audition
• Waiting for the booking
• Waiting to hear back from that giant film festival about your first short film

On the other side of waiting is the hope that one meeting, audition, or booking will change everything. Suddenly everyone in the industry will knock down your door, trying to land you for their project.  You can tell your day job to piss off, and ride off into a beautiful career.

That’s an intense amount of pressure to put on a single opportunity.

Re-focus Your Efforts

The thing about expectations is they rob us of our power. It becomes more about what the other person might do than what you can or will do. But the only behavior you actually control is your own.

When I came back to acting, I decided to let go of “big break think” and be someone who built relationships. This time, when meeting casting professionals and reps, my focus was on who they were, what drew them to this business, and much less about what they thought about me.

In auditioning, I put my attention on what I could bring to role, not on getting the role.

It changed the way I walked into the room. I entered with something to offer, an interest in who I was meeting, and no expectations.

That shift allowed me to be more present and playful. Every audition or meeting was just an opportunity to do the work and meet someone who worked in the same industry I did.

I expected less and experienced more. It didn’t hurt that it also made auditioning more fun.

Invest in the Process, Enjoy the Outcome

Rarely will one encounter make or break a career. It’s usually a series of small wins, relationship touches, and solid auditions built over time that inspire enough trust in our work to result in bookings.

So, send the follow-up email. Focus on the person receiving it, and how they’ve impacted you. And don’t expect an email back.

Make the film. Submit away. Tell a story you think needs to be told. You probably won’t get into Sundance on the first (or tenth go), but with this new mindset, that approval will no longer hold power over you.

Bring your crazy and creative ideas to your auditions. Only one person can book any role, and most of the time it won’t be you.  But you can show up fully present at every audition and let them know you’re there.

When you stop expecting things to happen, you start making things happen instead.

How wrong I was.

Instead, Phil Knight takes us through his scrappy and daring journey to bring Nike to life. Reading about the genesis of this brand is a great reminder that all crazy ideas meet with resistance.

My favorite takeaways:

• “Let everyone else call your idea crazy . . . just keep going. Don’t stop. Don’t even think about stopping until you get there, and don’t give much thought to where “there” is. Whatever comes, just don’t stop.”
• “The single easiest way to find out how you feel about someone. Say goodbye.”
• “…few ideas are as crazy as my favorite thing, running. It’s hard. It’s painful. It’s risky. The rewards are few and far from guaranteed. When you run around an oval track, or down an empty road, you have no real destination. At least, none that can fully justify the effort. The act itself becomes the destination. It’s not just that there’s no finish line; it’s that you define the finish line. Whatever pleasures or gains you derive from the act of running, you must find them within. It’s all in how you frame it, how you sell it to yourself.”
• Have faith in yourself, but also have faith in faith. Not faith as others define it. Faith as you define it. Faith as faith defines itself in your heart.

Purchase on Amazon:
https://jamiecarroll.me/shoe-dog-amzn

Purchase on Barnes & Noble:
https://jamiecarroll.me/shoe-dog-bn

Purchase from an Independent Bookseller:
https://jamiecarroll.me/shoe-dog-indy

Or, check the stacks of your local Public Library.

Learning the art of visual storytelling, which includes lighting, lens choices, and composition can deepen your understanding of where your art fits in the larger world of filmmaking.

In this snippet from episode two of filmmaker Phillip Bloom’s Cinematic Masterclass, you’ll get a quick lesson in lenses that will have you watching films and filmmakers with a whole new appreciation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWQQgZh9EyE

Located on the edge of Hudson Yards and the Garment District in Midtown Manhattan, the new coaching space is close to all forms of public transportation. It’s also literally around the corner from the recently re-launched Drama Book Shop.

The waitlist is currently full through October. To get on the list, click below.